My brother didn't speak until he was 11 years old - not a word passed his lips.  Our parents took him to see all sorts of specialists but it was no good, they couldn't find the problem.  Then one Sunday evening, when the family was seated around the dinner table, my brother said, "Mother, although I like my vegetables andante, and the sprouts are done to perfection, I feel the carrots would have benefited from another minute on the hob".  With this my mother fell to her knees beside my brother's chair and cupped his hands in hers.  As tears flowed down her face she asked, "My darling son, why haven't you spoken before"?  My brother replied, "Well, the vegetables have been OK until now".

There are three types of mathematician - those that can add up and those that can't