I attended a tachograph seminar today.  The person delivering it said that all tacho's were made for two man operation.  I mentioned forestry vehicles and when he asked what I meant, I said, "Surely, they're made for tree-fellas".

I got chased by the Traffic Police the other day.  When they finally stopped me, and I was asked what the hell I was doing, I said my wife had left me for a Traffic Cop and I thought it was him trying to bring her back.