I was delivering in Central London this week, down by the river near Embankment tube station.  A bloke started to erect a backdrop for the stage of an outdoor theatre behind my lorry.  I said, "You can pack that up for a start".  When he asked why, I said, "You're creating a scene".

He said, "You wouldn't have said that if I was William Shakespeare".  I said, "He wasn't allowed round here, he was bard".