I used the self service airline at my local fuel station today. It's now 40p; it was 20p. Well, I suppose that's inflation for you.

Forget 3D printing and injection moulded plastics, my mate's a farmer and reckons he's growing organic, sustainable car parts. According to him it's really going well and this year's been a bumper crop.

A 1kg lump of plasticine travelling at 100 metres per second (over 200mph)  has the same momentum as a 100kg lump travelling at 1 metre per second (2 mph).

But if you were to collide, the latter would give you a nasty bruise while the former would probably rip you to pieces. 

I went to the circus the other other day. I didn't half get some funny looks from the clowns.

There was a women swinging to and fro on this enormous swing attached way up high in the big top. She was doing all sorts of tricks, even hanging from it by her feet. When she came down I asked her how she summoned up the courage. "Medication" she said. "I'm on trapezium"

My mate loves TV ads; he can't get enough of them. He even talks in ad speak, mimicking the voices of the actors. I recon it's some sort of ad - diction.

I wasn't driving trucks to the Middle East in the 1970s but I've met thousands who were.

Two comedians are talking. One says, "Do you think you could make people laugh by simply telling them what trucks are for"?
"Well, yeah", the other one says, "it's all about delivery".