Just the other day I was talking to a chap in the waiting room at my dentist's surgery.  He told me he was a Buddhist and that he once refused an injection before a root canal job.  I was amazed, but apparently he had wanted to transcend dental medication.

When I finally got in there, I realized it wasn't my usual dentist - just someone filling in.

There's a digital tachograph pictogram that comprises two circles next to each other that are supposed to be two steering wheels representing double manned vehicle operation.  They actually look more like women's breasts and I think they should be removed - because they're two crewed.

What's the best way to half the road casualty figures?  Divide them by two.

I've been looking at some of the symbols on a digital tachograph printout.  There's one of an old lady with knitting needles - it's called a pictogran.

Many years ago I spent a night-out in a mining village in Wales.  I parked up on the industrial estate where I was due to tip the following morning and walked to the local pub.  Sitting at a table in one corner, all alone, I saw an old man with a concave face.  Although he sat by himself all night he didn't buy a single beer - every man that walked into the place stood him a pint.  By the end of the evening, when I could stand the intrigue no longer, I asked the landlord about the lonely man with the concave face.  He told me that years ago, when all the local men worked down the pit, a terrible accident occurred below ground and the man now sitting in the corner held up the roof of the mine while all the men escaped.  "That's why", he said, "He doesn't have to put his hand in his pocket". "But what about the concave face", I asked. The landlord said, "That's where they wedged him in with a sledge-hammer".

I was in the cafe the other day, chatting away with some other drivers, when one of them told us that a few years ago his wife left had him after 20 years of marriage.   "Twenty years", I said, "How did you cope?" He replied, "The first five were the worst, but once I'd learnt to ignore her the last fifteen just flew by".

My wife said she was fed up with my continually joking around and that we should sit down together and chat about my behaviour.  It was then that I pulled the chair from beneath her.